But Is It Right?

You're having lunch with a dear friend you've not seen in some time. Conversations flow and laughter fills the air. A subtle silence gently fills the space and you sense there's something they desperately need to share but unsure as to how. You ask "what's going on? I feel, I sense there's something you're not saying." They look down with pause as tears begin to well in their weary eyes.

Have you ever been on either side of such an experience? Another one, you're driving and it's a beautiful day, you're feeling lovely.  With little thought or notice you decide to take a different route to your destination, a path less taken. Later you learn an accident halted traffic for hours on your regular route. Knowing, intuition, that gut feeling, all are powerful aspects of our connection to the space between us, our atom, and all existence. And no this is not some gift reserved only for devout believers, mystics, healers, or otherwise us hippyish woo woo practitioners. 

<Place moment you didn't listen to that inner knowing HERE>

Shit i have so many it's embarrassing. No, really... almost illogical after the fact. I get that everything happens for a reason and there's purpose in everything. No one can really make 'wrong' choices. There are lessons in every choice made. What i've come to realize is many lessons are intended to teach us how to intuit and act on truth. I remember one time (in band camp, lol) when in a field of logic listening to that inner knowing could have saved me lots of time and angst in a previous IT job. Following all the logical steps and work flows lead us no where on a troubleshooting call. Out of options and moves i had no where to go but to escalate across teams for a different perspective. All the while something was nagging at me to check a seemingly unrelated configuration parameter. Days passed and progress cascaded into a loss of time and wasted resources. In the end, it turned out to be that "unrelated" configuration as the culprit. F*CK ME!

There were moments in my experience when i challenged this "knowing" by trying to out "think" it. Boy was i wrong, every single time i resisted that subtle knowing it would bite me in the ass. One day i remember enjoying a night time corn maze with family and friends. After wasting thirty minutes trying to logic our way through the maze i'd decided to experiment with my intuition and suggested i knew my way even though it was my first time. Those unsure as to how i knew chose to trust me anyway and followed behind. Every time we needed to decide which way to go, i paused, closed my eyes and asked for guidance. Turn by turn we successfully navigated the maze and found the exit. After which strangers that had also chosen to tag along asked "how did you do that, how did you know?" "Have you gone through it before?" "i listened to my gut because it felt right" i shyly responded (me shy? Rarely, like unicorns)

Oh okay, i remember another occasion when i decided not to be so damn stubborn and listen to that inner knowing. This is my favorite story too. Allow to me to set the scene for you. Baby mama and i have already been living in Charlotte for over a year and have decided on a general area to begin our search for a new home. The areas we'd settled on shopping were in the Fort Mill, Tega Cay and Lake Wylie areas. After viewing quite a few houses over several days none of them really speaking to us (to me really... hee hee) then we walk into this home in Fort Mill, SC. It felt good but not the one, more a facsimile of 'the one.' I stand in the kitchen that overlooks the living room and i pause. Close enough for now we decide and offer to put a contract on it so as to lock it in. Great cul-de-sac, very family friendly, great schools, and easy access to Charlotte's venues. Cool, right? At the time the market was feeling very aggressive which lead to our less than hasty choice.

A few days later returning to the home we'd chosen, just for giggles to check it out again our realtor chimes up and says "...there's another house just like this one with only slight differences right across in the opposing cul-de-sac. Almost literally directly across from this one. However, there is already a contract on that house and there've been delays, i hear." Immediately without hesitation "let's go check it out" i blurt out. Baby mama and the realtor look at me as if i have three heads. "I have a feeling about it" i say in my cheeky way.  Our realtor at this point is getting a little impatient with my ass and says "you know you cannot have a contract on more than one property." "So, i wanna go see it" i reply. 

We walk in and immediate it feels familiar somehow. Without walking upstairs or looking around to identify the slight differences previously mentioned by our realtor i stand in the kitchen pausing. I close my eyes for a brief moment. Upon opening them i say this is our home. This one, not that one. By now my realtor, a great guy, laid back and pretty chill, runs his fingers through his hair, no doubt wondering "WTF is this guy thinking?" Anyone can easily see his wheels spinning when it hits him "Well if you really really want this house i will call the realtor and see where they are on the contract. Meanwhile i can see about having a contingency in place stating that should that deal fall through on the contract, for whatever reason, we get first dibs on this house." Yes! i'm excited like we already own the house. As we are all walking out the front door, i turn back and grab the seller's printed flyer of the property, fold it and place it in the visor of my car. No sooner i get home the first thing i do is place the flyer on the fridge and say aloud "this is our home" over and over. Not only did i believe it intellectually, i felt it in every part of my being. "I hope you know what you're doing" says baby mama with a hint of sarcasm and a chuckle. 

A week later we're signing on that very house. Me, beaming with excitement and wondering how much more real it felt when i knew this would be our new home than during the signing of papers. The signing felt surreal, like a dream actually. Did i know that it would so happen to work to out where the previous buyers would run into issues with the lending company and be forced to back out? Heck no! The only thing i knew, down to my bones, was the house we just bought was mine the moment i walked in the door. Our bodies have a knowing not like that of our minds. 

We think, we feel, we intuit. Flying solely by the seat of our pants can have as many set backs as overthinking everything. Reason and intuition, adversaries they are not. Living in balance with both is your super power. Be well in that Loving space.