Feel me not
Hola todo el mundo! It's been a minute since I've written anything. Like the ocean's tides my writing has taken a new flow. Living, experiencing, expressing to live some more; rinse and repeat. Alright then, let's get on with it. This post is different being as I want to share my experiences in the hopes of freeing you from yours.
You may have heard by now how "we are all spiritual beings living a human experience." To me this means we are all empathic regardless the trappings of our whirling minds and physical being. Though we may default to feeling with our minds through thought, our capacity for actually feeling happens beyond the mind; our bodies feel, receive, transmit and emote.
It was a beautiful flowing sort of day. I was feeling lovely without a care in the world. Hanging with my new squeeze while she organizes employee logistics. Then a sudden wave of anxiety washed over me. "Babe, all of a sudden I feel anxious when I have no reason to feel this way" I look over and say. "Really..." she says with surprise and intrigued by how timely it all seemed. "Yeah, weird..." Then she follows up with "...that's interesting. When I saw the list of shifts needing to be filled I freaked out a little inside." Coincidence? I think not!
How many out there have experienced something similar? Shit, i do all day and must constantly take inventory of what's mine and not of me. Granted it has helped in developing greater self-awareness but not always easy to discern. Sometimes i have to dig so damn deep and be authentically honest with my shit that it can leave me feeling a bit raw and still unclear from where in bloody hell this shit emanates. As of late humanity has been going through the greatest and most pervasive awakening in all of recorded history (pure speculation, of course... lol) and this seems to be occurring everywhere I look and with every person I meet lately. For some this "awakening" happens so suddenly they truly believe they're going insane.
My perceived truth is we are finally awakening into sanity in an insane world. The irrational and unknown are displacing dogmatic superstitions mystic perceptions of old, leaving some with a sense of longing for community and connection. It can feel down right lonely. It did for me when i went through my awakening several years ago. Even in my long held belief of God, Spirit, Source, Angels, etc., i still felt alone in my experience through all i was seeing, sensing, and feeling. Such as visions, sensations, words spoken when no one was there and colorful plumes of energy to name a few. Especially the feelings of others. That one still gets me sometimes. I gets better, I promise. Much better ;-)
My sweet beautiful daughter and i often feed off one another unintentionally. If she's in a pissy mood it can trigger me and vice versa. Being mindful to feel me not is something i am all but powerless in helping her understand. Allowing myself to feel with grace when surrounded by incredibly intuitive people has always been a challenge. I've made purposeful intentions to always be surrounded by such beautiful beings. That's the thing with intuitive beings, however unaware of their gifts, it doesn't always feel like a beautiful blessing. LoL!
When i'm in a funk i need the freedom to be in MY funk. It's no one else's funk but mine. Like many of my brethren i tend to retreat within when processing feelings but the energy i emote tends to be very palpable by all around me, evidently.
What. The. Fuck!?!?!
Riddle me this Batman... I'm allowing myself to process and then out of nowhere and without solicitation someone is up my ass asking what's wrong and chooses to make my shit their shit. Seriously? Not cool at all.
However, this is when effective communication comes into play. "Hey, i'm in a funk and not sure where it's coming from so if you would just give me a little space i would greatly appreciate it. Please know i don't need you to fix it, just be there as i go through this. Thank you love." So damn simple. Right? Not really. Learning as i go in being honest with myself enough to communicate whatever is going on inside remains an ongoing opportunity. Frustrating, however, when someone tries to tell me how I am feeling. Or they allow their undies to get all in a bunch because I'm in a funk. Makes me want to punch them in the throat. UGH! I digress.
My reason for sharing all this is to illustrate and bring to light those instances when feelings not our own permeate our being without consent. Taking personal inventory aids in greater self-awareness and improved mindfulness of what we feel and emote. More importantly, give yourself permission to feel and to feel, your own shit and that of others. The magic is in discernment. You'd be surprise to learn you already "listen" deeply without hearing. Be well in that Loving space.