Do you have the will to surrender?
Odd question, eh? So much has gone down since my last post, with so much more for which to be grateful. We truly are blessed in spite of all the chaos that seems to be swirling about the world these days. This topic of resistance has been coming up a lot as of late with clients, friends and myself. I felt it best to strike while the iron is hot and hopefully speak to its antidote.
First, let me to update you up on the happenings of my little world. I've become a co-facilitator for a small group of conscious living seniors held every month where we talk about intuition, meditation, personal development, and many other topics around spirituality and personal growth. Bought a new custom home with my new family in the up-and-coming small-business friendly pedestrian city of Belmont, NC (that was a mouthful). And I've completed my year long adventure in the deeply rewarding Co-Active Coach Training and Certification program through The Coaches Training Institute. Not to mention I recently passed the written exam to boot! Oh yeah (happy dance of relief). Resistance was that pesky shadow through it all. Ugh!
Have you ever heard of the Golden Handcuffs? Yep, it's an integral part of my story. As time passed IT became less fulfilling, much less fulfilling. In fact, after 17 years of it, I'm pretty much done. Much of the effort needed to grow my practice to a level necessary for replacing my income has been virtually non-existent. It never felt like "The right time" for whatever reason, and for many months I resisted before finally committing to enrolling in the coach training course because of my "Thinking" that I could not somehow "Afford it." Once I surrendered in trusting that not only would I have the funds to finance myself through the entire course, including certification program, the whole process actually turned out to be a greater blessing than I could have ever anticipated. It simply took shifting my perspective, literally.
Wish I could say that I'm not at all the type of person who sticks around for convenience. I wish I could say that once I'm done. I. AM. DONE. LOL... That couldn't be further from the truth, the perfectionist in me refuses to take a single step without "Plan A, B, and C" worked out in my mind. Frankly, I suck at planning. Spontaneity is more my thing ,leaping before looking. The catch for me is resistance. Upon reflection, I resist way more than I should. I mean really, should I resist opportunities to get out there and market my practice? Hello McFly! There is luxury in failing as many times as possible in order to perfect a formula that works! Duh!!! Logically, it makes sense, but emotionally, it's a different story. So where does my resistance reside? In f*cking money! Just when I though I reshaped my relationship with money, it bites me in the ass with its henchman called "Resistance."
Resistance can express itself as limiting beliefs, focusing too much on the "How" a goal is to be accomplished, excuses for why it may not work out exactly how we perceive it in our mind, etcetera, etcetera. There are many clever ways resistance influences decisions made through any process in which we face growth. Have you noticed that upon committing to a decision, making the leap always turns out to be the easiest part? The reality now, as I become more aware of its many forms learning to surrender is this cool new skill I get to implement mindful awareness with virtually any choice I make. So what does this look like? How does one surrender while still maintaining their power and "Control" over the situation? So glad you asked!
According to Merriam-Webster the definition of Surrender means "To yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand." My interpretation of this is yielding to the power of that which is greater than me upon compulsion to act on intentional purposeful desire. That is to say, relinquishing our illusion of control and perceived outcome so as to allow opportunity to unfold organically. The true meaning of not needing to know how, necessarily, or the exact result.
Another way to look at the concept of surrendering, there is one memory many of us are very familiar with. Remember the day you learned to ride a bike without training wheels? I remember that day very vividly. My dad released the seat of my bike before it clicked that I was doing it all by myself. Surrendering, or yielding, to my dad in supporting me as I gained enough speed for balance to take place through my efforts in pedaling.
Making the leap in yielding or surrendering to the bigger plan requires the will to embody grit and courage. The will to have the gumption to just go for it. What's the worse that can happen? Failure is nothing more than bright side of discernment. Failure simply opens you up to the knowing of not doing the same shit again. So, do you have the will to surrender?