Inner strength, how well has it really served me?
Been slacking lately with writing because my perceived illusion of going through some "block" made inspiration "difficult" to reach. What a crock!!! Inspiration is certainly something that cannot be forced but neither is it something to take lightly. "I just didn't make it happen" i kept telling myself. However, i didn't allow for it to come into being either.
For years i remembered the tormented and never ending war between my mind and heart. Whenever i allowed my mind to choose shit not only went badly for me it was also compounded by guilt and regret shortly thereafter. Only when my heart was given permission and opportunity to choose did all turn out better than i could have expected. Those moments were few and far in between the loads of folly in the wake of hard knocks i had endured. F*cking hard headed, that is my being kind to the absolute fool of a former version of self. That is not to say my free spirited self doesn't still screw up from time to time but at least i can say i live very fully and my mistakes are my badge of courage in this world.
Though life took a much needed turn in responsibility and accountability for the better years ago, i still relied on what i thought was this inner strength that turned out to be not as reliable as i really needed. It wasn't until i surrendered to my intuition, or heart, that things really started to level off and a greater sense of harmony and balance established. Something still was amiss, however. It wasn't until the universe actually had to spell it out for me that it all became crystal clear. This inner strength and reliance on my intellect, life experience, and intuition could not hold a candle to the miracle that lay before me. For all this AMAZINGLY gifted intuition i have been blessed to share with the world the magnificent and obvious truth revealed was that it was never really mine. WTF!?!?!?
Yet another miracle coming into being only occurred with my openness to the shift that i must fully surrender ALL of me to Spirit. My intuition is not really of me but that i am of Spirit living a human experience and to Spirit i shall inevitably return. Accepting the impermanence of this existence and relinquishing any illusion of possession freed me not from accountability but from any false perceptions of TRUTH. A truth that exist only in Love. Imagine the power in that!!! Having unlimited strength at my disposal through Spirit in Truth is pretty fucking cool i must say. Not only does this lift the weight of the world from my shoulders it further embeds within my psyche the ONENESS of everyone, everything and infinite power of all creation! Doing the work and releasing the outcome and timing to Spirit is where i learned my inner strength really comes from and my faith is it's platform. Be well in that Loving space.