Kind authentic clarity of self

Presence, mindfulness, empowerment, the power of now, and being of service all list the barrage of catchy new buzz words and phrases in our cultural lexicon as of late. And as our conscious collective awakens from its slumber into greater self-awareness, we one by one begin surrendering to Love's grace. i get the sense, though, that not many understand where to start or what all this mumbo jumbo really means. i feel our wonderful ascension towards higher self should be approached with the following disclaimer.... know thyself. This should be at the core of EVERYTHING!

Let me start by sharing how in a way we're really no different than celestial bodies in the cosmos, energetically. With the exception that we gravitate towards people and experiences that resonate with what energetically stirs inside us. Yeah, this is a shift in paradigm i know. By now i'm sure you've heard how thoughts, feelings, and emotions are a form of energy. Now i'm not talking about shallow surface level fluff energies like waking up on the wrong side of the bed and your morning ruined by spilling java on your clothes. No, i'm referring to the shit that lies much much deeper inside. That prickly scary shit you hoard deep inside but are too afraid to address because of where it may lead and reveal about you. That real nitty gritty inner soup that may explain why you gravitate towards emotionally unavailable men or emotionally needy women. How in your marriage your partner just doesn't get how to love you? Why it always seems you cannot catch a break? Do i have your attention now? Okay, good.

The reality is the universe will always present opportunities to shine Loving light into those dark corners of our being revealing a deep truth.

Recently for me it was a series of experiences that forced me to take an honest and authentic look at my true self. i had to peel away veils to expose raw aspects of me. This involved becoming vulnerable with myself and peering into why i behave a specific way in certain situations and why i allow those very situations to trigger this behavior in the first place. Here's what i learned...

First, i realized that i was trying to fix (heal) someONE in my past through partners i chose in my present. Let it sink in.... "Hmmm, well that's a peculiar coping mechanism" anyone could say. Wait, there's more... and second thing i realized was that as a giver i have this tendency to selflessly give ALL of me and expect the same level of emotional effort and depth in return. "Oh everyone does that..." you're thinking. Right? However, anyone not truly understand that we all love differently and in our own specific Love Language would make the same assumption. You see, there's cognitive understanding and then there's emotional understanding. 

Here's the thing, it was never clear to me why i gravitated to so called "broken wings", beautiful souls with injured wings flopping around through life wondering why they can't get off the ground. The catch is i would try to fix them in such a way for them to love me the way i needed. Oooohhhhh...... Yeah that's what i said once it became clear to me. So what's my point in all this? First, that we go with what we know, what feels familiar and safe no matter how fucked up that situation actually is and, second, we are rarely upfront clear about our standards, our values, and our beliefs. Though i am mostly aware of them and do try to express these so called standards i never really OWNED and ACTED on them. In other words, fuzzy boundaries.

Okay now the second realization. Understanding how i'v not made it a point to clarify what i'm about i assumed that it would somehow magically become known to whomever i chose to share myself. This led to giving ALL of me and then FREAKING out when things began to feel uneven. SO WHACK!!! Just as there are people in our lives that get and speak our same lingo, there will also be those few special souls we innately understand exactly how to Love and they in turn understand exactly how to reciprocate. Now does this mean we should avoid venturing into any relationship because it's not immediately apparent what are our standards and Love Languages? Stop trippin, of course not!!! It does, however, mean that at some point, hopefully early on in any relationship we are each responsible for being abundantly clear of our standards and kindly owning our authentic self. Platonic, professional, familial relationships are no exception to this rule!

So next the time you hear the words know thyself take a moment to ponder on the full weight of what that truly means. It is up to YOU to declare who you are and how you are to be Loved. Then hold yourself accountable for when you're not feeling Loved exactly how you need. For if i'm not kindly authentic and clear of how i need to be loved then how will anyone know to Love me as i need? Be well in Love and Light.