On a high speed train unable to get off as i see my life passing by like a poorly lit movie reel flickering on the silver screen. That's best way to describe one of my many seasons during this journey i have been blessed to experience. Goodness me at that time it really sucked feeling that way, out of control and powerless.
Where in the world am i going with this you ask?
i remember one day i was beside myself in a moment of stillness feeling absolutely powerless trying to figure out what in the world was i doing wrong. In a moment of true transcendence there i was watching my life play out before me and i distinctly remember feeling this must be some someone else's life because the man i know myself to be is powerful and Loving with strong in my convictions and ideals. Not fearful, angry, and powerless. Surreal does not even begin to describe that experience. Phew....
The lesson revealed from that season is we all make agreements and commitments with ourselves for one reason or another, never mind the commitments we make to another. It is in that moment of powerlessness that we justify and rationalize why we should continue moving forward in a life with doubt hiding in plain sight as our shadow would. Discernment between agreements we make and being in alignment with our soul often escapes even the best of us. Leaving many in an indistinguishable void, stranded and conflicted. Familial and social indoctrination, even with the best of intentions, does not always translate into having a health relationship with our soul.
You know, that higher form of you perfectly living out your imperfections authentically. You know what the heck i'm talking about. "It's okay to be brave and scared at the same time" is one of my favorite quotes created by my talented and Lovely partner to be the most apropos way i can Loving share with you that rising up to courage does not manifest in the absence of fear.
The thing is opportunity is usually staring you in the face and you all you have to do is welcome it in. It's really not all that complicated as long as we don't make it so. For me it was allowing myself to enter MY space of stillness when clarity smacked the shit out of me. It did this by presenting me with this skewed facsimile life which was my reality that absolutely did NOT align with my soul. We all have that instinct, intuition, sense, gut feeling, whatever you call it, that quietly and lovingly speaks to you, reminding you of YOUR truth. Entering YOUR space of stillness can mean locking yourself in your car, bathroom, office, or simply going for a short walk so you can enter YOUR space of stillness, whatever that may be in that very moment.
My message to you is to start behaving in alignment with your soul and stop living some skewed facsimile life of your actual truth. It's easier than you may realize as long as your truth is not made out to seem as complicated as we all so very often do. The key is finding a creative solution to a complex problem. Be well in Love and light.