Fuzzy Boundaries - Part 2
Greetings everyone! Hoping your new year and resolutions are still on track given we're still in January, interesting thing those fuzzy boundaries. This time around i wanted to elaborate a little further on recognizing, establishing, and maintaining these new boundaries or shall i say new ways of demonstrating self Love and respect. Let me be perfectly clear here, i am not talking about walls, barriers, fences, or the like. What i am referring to are more like borders, imaginary lines in our vast emotional landscape.
Right, onto the heart of the matter. Let us start with recognizing our boundaries. Have you ever become involved in something for someone else, for work, or a family member all the while feeling this internal resistance about the situation? That resistance is a boundary being crossed and trespassed. This is not at all to do with stepping outside of our comfort zone because by feeling forced into or obligated to do something that has us feeling less than Loved is how the seeds of self doubt and self loathing are sowed. Do not misunderstand the message being conveyed here, stepping outside of our comfort zone is necessary in order to grow and is not at all the same as having a boundary trampled upon. Comfort zones involve safety, control, and a sense of staying within a space that feels comfortable as the name suggests. Boundaries on the other hand are how we let ourselves and others know how we are to be treated, respected and Loved.
So how do we set boundaries and not seem selfish, mean or insensitive? The answer is quite simple, honesty and truthfulness from a place of Love. What the bleep?!?!?! For example, beingkindly asked to watch someone's pet as a last minute resort versus the very same person assuming you would watch said pet without taking your needs into consideration. Let's look at the former scenario dissect it a bit. Being asked allows us the opportunity to say no without actually saying the word "no". For instance "that will not work for me", "i truly understand how important this is to you but this is putting me in a difficult position", or "i'm sorry, i wish i could help you." Let's face it, most givers have a hard time saying "no" nor am i condoning apathy. However, when it is assumed we would automatically agree or jump when asked is a lack of consideration and disrespectful. Now let us take this a step further, someone close like a family member, friend or partner speaks to us in a manner unbecoming and degrading and we react by complaining. This may work at first but when do we draw the line before it turns into allowing and enablement?
We all have that friend that shows up unannounced asking for yet another favor for the second or third time. What's the point in complaining to only give in and do the very thing we complained about? Get where i am coming from with all of this? To Love does not mean to be a push over.
Boundaries are not meant to separate us, they are to make clear how we are to be Loved and respected. Be well in peace and light.